Monday, November 19, 2012

What I Remembered Later


Hitchhiking thumb cold

It was cold
And there was fog
And there were lights
And then a car
And I was …

And there were lights
And then a car
And there was fog
And it was cold
And I was …

Movement …
Moving cold fog
Cold fog lights car
Tire hiss
Passing car
Wet cold fog lights
Passing car tire hiss
And …

There was a big bank
And there was neon sign
And there was time
And there was a dark bridge
And cold
And I was …

There was cold
And fog around lights
And there were car lights
And there was vicious cold
And there was time
And then a car
And I was …

Lights car fog cold time
And I was …

Cold thoughts time …
Thoughts of time
Time thoughts cold
Thoughts cold time
Cold time thoughts
Thoughts of cold
Thoughts cold time
Thoughts of thoughts

Movement …
Moving cold fog thoughts
Cold fog lights car

Tire hiss passing
Wet cold fog lights
Car tire hiss
And thoughts

White fog white lights
White fog car tire hiss
White car passes
White car stopped
Wet cold fog cold
Wet
Cold
And I was …

White car window buzz
White car door clunk
White car warm air
White warm car seat
And he said …
And I said …
And I was …

Moving
Warm white car
“Thank you”
Warm white car
“Thank you”
“Look … I’m …”
And he said … more
“I’m going …”
And I said … more

Something something

“You’re cute …”
“Look … I’m …”
And he said … more
“I can’t …”
And I said … more

Something something
Blah blah blah

Cold outside fog
Warm car inside warm
He drove
I sat
He spoke
I spoke
His voice frowned

His voice frowned
“Don’t play innocent.”

“I’m not playing …”

His voice frowned
“I think you’re …”

And then I …
And then he …
And then his hand
And then my face
And car window crack
And then my blood

And then I sat
And then he drove
And I sat quiet
And I tried to …
And then his hand …
And his voice frowned

Then there was time
And there was fog
Outside cold
Heat inside

I felt his hand
And his hand …
And then his hand …
And then I tried to …

And his voice frowned
And then his hand …
And then my face
And then my blood

Warm car hot car hell car
Cold fog cold street cold heaven
Fog heaven car hell

Moving fog car stopping
Silent fog
Screaming car

And then he and then
He and then he and
Then he and then he
And then he and then
He and then he
And I was …


         Outside
         Outside pain
         Outside tears
         Outside

And the car was …
         Moving
And then I was …

But I didn’t say …
But I didn’t tell …
But I didn’t speak …

And news said …
But I read and read  …

And later …
         And later there were
Others …
         Only they were …
         But I was …

And each had been …
         But I was …

And news said …
Blah blah blah
         Policeman dead
         By suicide
Blah blah blah
         More than ten
Blah blah blah
         Victims teenage boys
Blah blah blah
         Sex murders
Blah blah blah
         Policeman guilty
Blah blah blah
         Hitchhiking
         Dangerous to teens

Read it again
Read it again
Read it again
The picture
That’s him that’s him
That’s him!

Blah blah blah
         At least ten
         Only they were …
         And each had been …
        
But I wasn’t …